Amy Schumer performs live in Dublin next week to coincide with the release of her book The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo. The book as you can imagine is funny but it also has some darker moments.
Schumer insists that this book is not an autobiography “I just turned 35, so I have a long way to go until I am memoir-worthy.” … nor is it a self-help book. “I’m a flawed fuck-up and I haven’t figured anything out, so I have no wisdom to offer you.”. She says what she she can help with however “is showing you my mistakes and my pain and my laughter.”
The title from her book is taken from a tramp stop she got when she was 20 which she refuses to regret. “Any time I take my clothes off for the first time in front of a man and he sees it, he also knows in his heart that I’m trash and that I make poor, poor decisions,” she writes. “But I promise you from the bottom of my heart I don’t care. I wear my mistakes like badges of honor, and I celebrate them. They make me human.” Said tattoo pictured below.
The book covers a range of topics from losing her virginity, diary entries from her teenage years, sexual assault and relationships. She covers every kind of relationship including a disturbing passage about an unstable ex-boyfriend which can be compared to the deep love she has for her siblings.
Here are a variety of topics covered in the book …
She was threatened by an ex with a knife:
It began with him criticizing her looks, he pushed her onto car and she banged her head. He was so angry that he broke a mug over his head, then “he grabbed a huge butcher knife from a drawer. And that’s when I was sure he was going to kill me.”
When she was trying to lose her virginity:
“We’d gotten to third base, as they say, and I’d tried to jerk him off many times. But it never worked, and it became the cause of major frustration on both our parts. I was getting Michelle Obama arms, but no other good was coming out of it.”
‘What’s it like being a woman comedian?’:
“First, I’d like to thank all the people who pointed out that I was a woman … You made sure I didn’t lose sight of my ovaries. Thank you. Without your constant reminders, I may have just forgotten my uterus on a crosstown bus but you guys made me perpetually aware that I bleed once a month and I can tell a joke!”
Her biggest pet peeve:
“People who bring a book to a bar deserve to be stoned. Don’t try to look mysterious and interesting. You are reading in a bar.”
Her relationship with her Dad:
“he was no angel. ..he did dirtbag things behind my mum’s back. My dad was as serious an alcoholic as they came … The only thing that slowed down his drinking was multiple sclerosis.”
We end on Amy Schumer’s key to comedy: “Life is full of pain and disappointment. I’ve made a whole career out of pointing this out and reliving it in ridiculous ways so everyone can laugh and cry along with me. I wish my mother understood this too. It’s relaxing sometimes, just being human.”
Amy is coming to Dublin. See our Gig Guide for more info.