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Heard It Say – A new Irish joke book

The new joke book is due out September 25th.

Heard It Say is 104 pages of one-liners and celebrity quotes. It’s illustrated throughout with original cartoons by ad agency creative Aidan Dowling. Obviously, Trump features prominently, but there’s also a lot of topical Irish jokes to amuse people.

It will be available to buy in Irish book stores from September 25th for €9.95.

Here’s a taste of what to expect from the book:

Boris Johnson was out-manoeuvred by Michael Gove, which is the equivalent of being knocked down by your own golf buggy. 

Eddie calls his wife the ventriloquist. She’s forever putting words in his mouth.

Donald Trump: “Well Vlad, in a word, how’s Russia?” “Good”, Putin replies. “And in more than one word?” Trump asks. “Not good,” Putin says.

 Oliver Callan’s take on Ireland’s public service scandals: “Heads never really roll, they simply roll in it.”

Diarmuid Gavin plants his veg in alphabetical order. Where does he find the thyme? It’s right next to the sage.

   

An elephant walks into the Forty Foot and sees a naked bather. He asks the man: “How on earth do you breathe through that?”

If love is blind, why is Agent Provocateur so popular?

Pádraig Lynch now chairs the Anti-Nepotism League, a noble body founded in the 1920s by his grand-uncle. 

The three ages of men: youth, middle age and “my word, you look well”.  

Roy Keane should do the Camino. He’s well used to walking.

Terry Wogan was an anti-depressant with no side-effects.

When you work from home, you only have to sound dressed at 9.30am.

Wally has been found. His funeral will be held soon but no one knows where exactly. It’s how he would have wanted it.

May misfortune follow you always – but never catch up.

What did the mother buffalo say to her son as he was leaving home? “Bison”

 

The author Michael Cullen is editor of Marketing.ie, Ireland’s marketing and media monthly and website. He is a regular contributor to Ireland’s national media. This is Cullens second joke book after his first Ash, sure what of it.

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